A Moral Code

"And in the end they shall all see their true forms and it will scare them to know that what they hated the most is what they have eventually become"

We all will have to die eventually. The question about how much of a good time we have spent on the planet will probably not matter when we decide to let go of our existence for a better or worse place (depending on whatever God you choose to believe in). Sadly, the truth might even be more shocking than we choose to believe. What if, there really is no concept of forgiveness? What if, you only had one chance to be a good person and it passed you by when you were two years old and squashed an insect or willingly destroyed something of value to your parents? What if you woke up when you were ten went to school and picked on the smaller kid simply because "everyone" was doing it? But we try not to think of these things when we look at our fate in the after-life or lack thereof simply because we are conditioned to believe that there is always a loophole that saves us from death.

Every religion I know on the planet has a concept of death and what we are supposed to receive in the after-life. Popular scientific theories say that when we die we just lose our energy and it is converted into some other form of energy and used by nature. I would like to say that I believe more in that theory than anything else. The only reason we fear death the most is because of the societal rubbish that is fed to us when we are younger. You shouldn't steal because its bad. Sure, but what if your life or your loved one's life depended on it? What if you were able to save someone's life as a result and you did it anyways? Does the law permit these so-called crimes simply because we are looking out for the one thing everyone really forgets when these crimes are committed? Humanity.

Of course a world without order will only trend towards chaos and that is totally unacceptable simply because we cannot exist in a world which does not allow us the small allowances of control we really crave for. Take for example my current situation that I have aptly named Shameful Water. I live in a building where we get water for approximately three hours everyday. Most people would laugh and say that is quite a silly situation to bring in when you talk about moral conduct and the underlying fact that living a good life is your ultimate goal to some faux-xanadu that none of us have ever seen nor will anyone else for that matter. People do not actually utilize the water that is given to them when they need it but actually hoard it to the point where people that have paid for it can no longer get it. Seems like a simple act of survival but at the most basic level, its a struggle between good and bad. Sadly, I live in a building with a very diverse set of religious beliefs and I am now quite sure of the fact that everyone has ditched their religious beliefs to hoard water simply because they choose to be selfish or because their children or loved ones are more important than the morals they will eventually preach to someone else.

In the end, we will all die and when we do I for one truly believe that we won't see a god or anything of the sort. The lights will go out and that's it. No more light, no more sound, no more touch and certainly no more stress. What happens after that is pretty simple; your loved ones will cry, throw a funeral and forget about you in their daily lives within the 365 day mark because they have to deal with other things for their own survival. Do I feel a sense of sadness because of this? No. Why? Because its true human nature. So the next time someone tells you something is wrong, ask yourself this question, what have I really done wrong? If you find yourself straying towards religion I wish you good luck and instead, if you find yourself straying towards pure logic, then I wish the world around you the best of luck.

Mood while writing this post - Confused
Music listened to while writing this post - Staind - Outside

My friend Blood

Blood upon my hand

I am reminded that I am in my homeland

Blood upon my face

This is not my birthplace

Blood on the floor

They knew they were dying when they walked in the door

Blood all over the white of my house

Nothing will ever make it come out

Blood reminding me of a brighter day

It never ever wanted with me to stay

Blood oozing out of everyone

This is what I have become

Blood welcoming me back

It only talks to me in white and black

Blood my friend till the end

I must end myself now to begin

Mood while writing this post - Dark

Disclaimer: I am not homicidal in any way whatsoever, this has nothing to do with actual people and must not be perceived as such. Comments are welcome and chide me for all its worth. Happy Republic Day

Snap

"I lose my patience to get it back again' - Me

Sometimes, I am challenged by my environment to be someone I am not. Most times, I just give in and let it get the better of me. When I do this however, a little residue of regret is left behind but it is nothing significant. The story your about to read is purely fictional but if it were true, the amount of gratification would be totally worthwhile.

I loved my wife and I loved the life we had built together. Sadly, what has happened now is a clear indication of my own failure as a husband to let things out when I should have. About four hours ago, everyone was seated at a table eating dinner and enjoying a quite healthy conversation. There was laughter and smiles all around the table. It was then that something rather extraordinary happened ...

Four Hours Ago

"I think we should play a game" - My Wife
"I think that's a good idea" - Her Friend

And so, starts another boring game of Truth or Dare and of course the worst demon of them all - I have never. While the game continues, I slowly watch as the proceedings turn into a Q&A session for all the men sitting around the table. Everyone has a demon in their closet and no matter how much we choose to hide it, these are places where we might let it all slip and end up being ostracized for our very beliefs or acts of stupidity we want to forget. As is customary at these events, I choose to be forthcoming in my answers and provide answers to all the questions asked of me. I know there will be questions after we are done but I still play because saying no is just as bad as saying yes.

"I have never ever had sex in a car" is one of the questions put forward and I say with comforting ease that this is something that I have done. It is at that moment that my wife's eyes start to become wider and her face is going a solid red now. It isn't the red that one associates with the pleasantness of autumn or the glowing red of a nice cherry jelly. This is the kind of red u see when the lights of an ambulance are shining in your face. She gets up and leaves the table in a fuss. I follow suite in the usual dog-on-a-leash fashion I have become accustomed to all these years.

"Whats wrong now?" - Me
"Nothing, who was she?" - My Wife
"Who was who?" - Me
"The woman in the car" - My Wife
"No one important. Infact, I don't want to talk about it and I'd rather we forget it" - Me
"Why?" - My Wife
"Because its my past and I'd like to leave it where it belongs. In my past" - Me
"Whatever" - My Wife

She walks past me and goes out in the living room. I now find myself wondering what went wrong. In a quiet motion, I walk past the living room into the kitchen and let myself out the back door. Our dog, mostly hers, is now running around in the yard and has created a mess again. Alas, he's a puppy and cannot really be blamed. Or can he? I walk towards him and give him a stare like he's done something wrong but all I am greeted with is the same stupid look that he always gives me when he does something wrong. It is in that moment that I see everything wrong in my life within the dog. I watch as he moves around and starts destroying the yard that I had spent three summers trimming and watering. I watch as he unearths the mud that I have spent so much time caring for and as he starts to move all the grass and plants around. I figure its time for a reprimand but that isn't all, I catch him by his collar and give him a shouting. I guess that I caught it a little too hard because he is unable to breathe now. I stand there in the night as my dog quietly starts to choke in my hands. I watch as his eyes start going red and he tries to struggle against my hand which has gone numb for me. In that instant, I grab his neck with my other arm and press it as hard as I can. He's just a puppy and his struggling doesn't last long. There is a calming silence in the garden once again.

I move his body into the kennel and make my way back into the house. They are still playing that stupid game. I walk into my study and take a look at the shotgun that a business partner had given me as a congratulatory gift. In that instant, I picture them all lifeless and 'quiet'. I start to load the gun when there is a knock on my study. I slowly open the door to find one of her friends asking if I am doing alright. I say that I am fine it will just be a few more minutes and I will join them downstairs.

There are only three people and I have four shells in my casing. It doesn't take long to dispatch them. Apparently they screamed for their lives but all I could see was their faces and the smile that was becoming more apparent on mine as I pulled the trigger and reloaded the shotgun. My wife was scared too but that didn't stop me.

Present

Its quiet again and my living room has three dead bodies in it. I light a cigarette as I look at the mess. Someone is going to call the police after hearing the shells go off. Should I kill myself or start running? Neither really seems appealing at this stage. I sit in my living room as the sound of sirens start to make themselves more clearer. I am finally smiling like I mean it ...

Note: I am not psychotic in the least sense of the word. What is written here is all fictional and should be treated as such.

Mood while writing this blog - Half Awake and Hungry
Music - Mad World - Gary Jules

The Fulcrum - An Excerpt from The Decade

"Being blind isn't being handicapped. Not actualizing your potential due to a physical defect is being handicapped"

My name is Jacques Belmonte and it has been over a year since I was incarcerated in this prison cell with no food and no access to the outside world. I have been spending my time talking to the walls and playing naughts and crosses with the shadows. The rest of my time is spent hearing the ocean outside the only real-world access I have, my cell window. This place smells of moss and the salty sea air only amplifies its putrid stench. I haven't seen another living being for a year now any my only gauge is the sunlight that comes through my ceiling once a day and leaves me for other places far across the globe as darkness ushers me into night.

I had befriended a rat about two months back but my dying need for blood has led to its untimely demise. The meat never really fascinated me as I have never been like my other brethren who dine on the flesh of most things they kill. I had spent the first three months of my stay here looking for ways out but every attempt I had made simply resulted in me injuring myself even more than I was before I made my way into this eternal prison. My captors seem to take pleasure in knowing the weakness of every vampire I have met and have since marked this cell with special incantations to keep me at bay. While this would ordinarily not bother me, the one thing that does is that the people who put me here spent over a century playing comrades to me in my quest to find the one responsible for making me this way.

There are a few things I have gauged about my cell. I am certainly near a very large water mass for I hear the waves hitting the walls outside me. I have also ascertained that there is a port of some kind in the distance as I hear boats come and go every 5 months or so. Whether I am not the only inmate here however, is a piece of information that I have no ascertained in my time here. Either the other inmates here are very quiet or there are none at all.

I have not had a single visit since they put me here and I do not expect one anytime soon. I have studied my cell with extreme patience to find structural flaws but my search has been futile for even if I did find one, I cannot touch the walls that surround me. It is as this thought runs through my mind that I am disturbed by a sound that I have not heard in a long time, the sound of water from behind me. I have no light and am slowly going blind but that can all change once I get out of here and find some blood. As I probe in the darkness of night, I feel the coolness of the ocean water at my feet and smile at the predicament of this cell. The water is slowly seeping into my cell as this building must be at sea-level now.

I sit in the middle of my cell as the water starts seeping into my prison. It won't be long before this place starts filling with water and under normal circumstance any human would simply see this as a reason to get to higher ground. But I am simply preparing for the one moment that will decide the length of my stay in this place and the amount of energy I need to put into the one act that will free me from this hell.

I slowly rid my mind of all my time spent here as it is now pointless. The water will rise and when it does, I have a few moments in which I need to hit the wall with everything I have left to dislodge one stone. If one comes lose, their world as they know it will end ...

Music Listened to while writing this post - Walking in the sun - Travis
Mood - Vengeful

A Decade - The Awakening

I have never seen a sunset more vibrant than the one I am currently witnessing. The rays skim over the water like molten overpouring from a volanco. They engulf the water stripping it of its blue wonder and replacing it with a citric orange that stretches as far as the eye can see. This day has been of particular importance in the last ten years I have spent on this island.

March 12th Ten Years Ago

I am awoken by a language I do not fully comprehend. It sounds like French but not the kind you would find loiterring on the tongues of Parisians in France. It has a more harsher tone associated with it and judging by the hut I am lying in, I doubt that France is my current location. I try to move my body in the hopes of exploring my new surrounding but I am assaulted by a throbbing pain in the back of my head. I slowly push myself on my knees when an elderly woman comes into the hut and tries to usher me back onto the bed. I try and ask who the lady is but all that escapes my mouth is a dry heave as I the pain in my back of head takes over the rest of my body causing me to collapse.

I awake again to the feeling of a hand applying something wet to my forehead. The old lady is now replaced with a much older man who is looking over me. I try and open my mouth again but he tells me to try and conserve my energy and this time it is in a language I do understand, English.

I was told that I slept for four days without any food and the villagers had doubts about my origins and what I was doing on thier island. I was even presumed dead on day four and was in the process of finding my way six feet under when I awoke with the first shovel of wet sand that hit my face. For the most part, I remember hearing screaming and people panicking. My head pain was much more milder at this point and the elderly gentleman who had nursed me in the hut was standing above the pit, his eyes widenned with the look of fear. Needless to say I got out of the pit and was told of my arrival on this island. I was found lying on the shore with my face in the sand. The woman that found me started screaming as I was drenched in blood and my back had a large gash on it runing all across the upper half of my back. They bought me to their village as I tried to move when they attempted to turn me over. Over the course of the next four days, they observed my health improving till on the fourth day, the visiting doctor from a medical consignment on the island checked my pulse and told them that I was clinically dead. An honest mistake considering the doctor had no clue what I was. I was to be given a proper burial as a Catholic because they were under the impression that I had to have been one due to the tattoo of a cross on my wrist, another forgivable mistake in hindsight. It was only after the story was told that I tried recollecting my name and was unable to. I have since spent the last ten years on this island helping them take care of themselves while I tried to make sense of myself and my ongoing struggle with who I really was. I never slept at night, I didn't eat much, I was exceptionally strong for a man who had no muscle to show and as a result, I was considered a blessing to everyone on the island.

The first week was exceptionally difficult as I was given food but I could not find it within me to even try it. It was on my first hunting trip with the men of the village that I found my love for drinking the blood of live animals. I remember walking in the forest with only the moon as my guide when I spotted a wild boar moving in the darkness. Of course, to me, the night was never really a bother as I could see things very clearly in the dark, something I have still kept from the villagers. I walked in a slow circle around the boar as I watched it moving in the night. As I inched closer, it became aware of my presence and darted at me, only to find its demise at my hands.

Present Day

Our medical friends are back again but this time they have bought some interesting people with them; a man and woman. I sit with them and ask them about where they are from and how they had become a part of the medical team that frequented the island in my time here. The lady seemed oblivious to my questioning but it was only when the man whispered something in her ear that my life started to take a turn back to who I was. I was pulled aside from the crowd that had gathered in the medical tent and the man asked me a question that didn't make sense at first, "Do you know who you are?". While I tried to gather my thoughts, they began to quarrel about someone named Jacques and I couldn't figure out who they were talking about. The man informed me that he could help me regain my memory but they would need a quiet place to help me. Curious about these new people and their seemed understanding of who I was, I encouraged a move to a quieter place to see what they had to offer. My surprise only turned to shock when the man produced a knife and cut the woman's wrist asking me to drink her blood. My initial hesitation is turned to a well grown addiction when I dig my teeth into her flesh and begin drinking her blood. I pull back as my head starts to hurt again. The same hurt in the back of my head that I had felt ten years ago as I arrived on this ilsand.

As I walk through the villagers, I find the village doctor, Cecil. My request for his audience with the two doctors is obliged. I close the door of the hut, asking him to sit down as I do.

Cecil: "What can I do for you my friend?"

Me: "It is not what you can do for me but what I need to do now Cecil. My hope is that you will understand when I tell you"

Cecil: "Is something the matter"

Male Medical Officer: "Doctor, I do not think you know who has been staying with you all these years"

Cecil: "This man is a good person and nothing you tell me about his past will change what he has done all these years for this village and the people that live here"

Female Medical Officer: "We understand that doctor but now that he knows who he is, I do not think he will wish to stay here much longer"

Me: "I think I should be the one to tell Cecil who I reall am"

Cecil: "You have me worried my friend"

Me: "You have nothing to fear Cecil. No harm will come to you and anyone in this village. All that I am asking for is that you respect my decision to leave the village as there is something that I must finish that I started"

Cecil: "You have never been obligated to me for anything I have done for you and I have never asked you to stay should you feel the need to leave"

Me: "I will be leaving in the morning with these two doctors"

Cecil: "May I ask for where?"

Me: "New York City"

Cecil: "So you are from there?"

Me: "No"

Cecil: "Before you go my friend, would it be wrong of me to ask who you are?"

Me: "I don't see why not. My name is Jacques Belmonte and I am half-breed vampire who hunts other vampires....."

Music Listened to while writing this blog - Sound of Silence aka no music

Mood - Sullen

Death Incarnate - Return to the Pool

Wednesday May 13th, 2009

"Success is just a bonus on the road to continual improvement" - Me

As I survey my surroundings, I become aware of the silence that is masked in the warm summer evening. The pool is completely dry now and it resembles the cracks I had seen in a video by Bon Jovi called Dry County (Citation required but who cares). I take a walk around the pool as I survey what was once a lush and fertile environment. The trees have shed all their leaves and look like old people that have lost all the blood in their lifeless bodies. The ground has developed an epidermal layering of dust that feels like crust that has been dried and crushed.

I stand up and turn towards the entrance when I see 'him' standing at the other end of the pool. My initial reaction is not one of surprise but more of happiness as I see another person entering the place that I have held sacred for so long. He looks about the same height as me and is wearing a black suit with a white shirt. The Ray Ban's on his face reflect the dull light of the sun and his posture is like that of a mannequin in an expensive boutique for men's clothing. As he turns to walk towards me, I notice the hilt of a blade sticking out of the back of his suit. Another blade wielder in this place? Surely he will understand what I am going through and offer me a solution to the chaos that has turned this place of beauty into a blight.

My hopes are shattered in an instant as I see his left hand reach for the hilt as he approaches me. He does not run and is engaged in a slow walk around the pool. My eyes are now fixated on this stranger who has until now not said a word and is slowly walking towards me with what can only be ill intentions. I dust my hands and beg for mercy under my breath but I know it only wasted on the dust and the emptiness of the trees around me. This place will never forgive me for what I have done to it. A tear starts to form in my right eye as he approaches. This place has never made me cry before, then again, there is a first time for everything. He is now approaching me and is but a short distance away when he points his hand at me and makes a gesture for a duel. I haven't moved an inch since he started moving towards me but I know this does not end well. I take out both my katanas and stand my ground. My societal upbringing an hate for everything normal has forced my mastery of the ways of the blade to use my left hand more than my right. It will all be inconsequential if I let this stranger win now.

He assumes an attack stance and points his blade towards me. As a sign of respect, I keep both my hands at my sides and do not raise either blade. We stand in silence ... accepting each others presence.

My hands are starting to get tired and I am sure that he is aware of this. It is in that instant that he moves his left foot forward and tries to swiftly move the blade towards me. A mistake ...

I parry the blade away effortlessly and ask him to leave but they are once again wasted words as he tries to hit me with his fists. I cut him once and push him away with the hopes that he will realize his defeat and leave this place but my assailant shares the same veracity that I do for never giving up. He moves towards me once again and tries to push me into the dry pool. I take a step in it and hear the dry mud crunch under my feet. In that instant, I realize that I have had enough and this has to end. I beckon him nearer and as he approaches, I move my right hand to hit him and my left hand follows to cut his right wrist off. He falls to the ground and starts to grimace in pain as I watch. I drop both my blades to the ground and go for his neck. As I feel his neck tighten in my hands I feel a powerful rush of euphoria flow in me and I begin to smile and laugh ecstatically. I bang his head on the floor a few times to knock him unconscious before realizing that I would rather have him alive as he enjoyed his last few minutes of existence. His body goes limp and collapses.

I stand up and wipe the sweat off my brow. During the entire struggle, his glasses never came off his face. I remove them and take a few steps back as I see his face. The shock that I experience is quickly replaced by a sense of understanding what needs to be done. I begin working as his body, chopping each part into smaller pieces; these will make good fodder for the trees. Nightfall comes soon and by the time I am done, I am left standing in a pool of slush that is a combination of blood and bones. I get out of the pool with a renewed sense of faith, everything is going to be alright and I know it.

It is never easy to kill yourself ...

Music listened to while writing this blog - Dirty Dot feat. Colleen Kelly - Heart of Pain (Montago's Funk n' Trance Mix)
Mood - Incessant

Waking Up Dead

Most of us are scared of death and to be honest, I haven't really ever met a person who has told me that their fear of death is directly related to the stopping of reality as they know it. Instead, most people give me obscure reasons related to family, love and their earthly needs. I used to shake my head in total dismay when presented with such opinions but now that I'm here I figure I might as well see if everyone really has the right grasp they require on this unavoidable truth. Oddly, there is no bright light or stairway to heaven, instead, I am awoken amidst a lush green field with an ominous weathering tree planted right in the middle of what can only be described as blight. What strikes me as an even more odd presence on the blight is a young child playing with dice. I slowly start moving towards the tree with ever growing curiosity as to why something so innocent is sitting in the middle of the very birthing of evil.

It appears to be a sunny day leading me to believe that this must be heaven or worse, purgatory. As I approach the blight, the child becomes weary of my presence and puts its hand out calling me closer. This lessens my nervousness and only drags me closer to the child in the hopes of understanding where I am. I take a seat as I watch the child roll the dice again. I watch as the child looks at the sky, saying something under its breath and then it looks towards me. For all its innocence, it exhibits a sense of deep understanding and wisdom. Far be me to talk to God with the vocal handling that I would use when talking to a child but what the hell (oops) I am here and I might as well give it a try.

"Good Morning"
"Good Morning to you too. Whats your name?"
"Mel ... and what's your name?"
"Some people call me God, some people choose not to name me and some people think I don't exist"
"Funny you should say that because the way your sitting right now, I was beginning to believe that you were someone else and not God himself or herself"
"Its ok I've heard worse in my time managing this tree"
"What is the tree for?"
"I'm glad you ask that because I was about to ask you why you think I need to be under a tree. Shouldn't I be more older with lightning coming out of hands and showing you my almighty power?"
"To be honest God, may I call you that?"
"Whatever makes you comfortable"
"God it is then, well I guess death has put a new perspective on things for me. All the stuff I have been taught till this point in my naturally-ended life has bought me here. The trees and the rest of this razzmatazz are just icing on the cake."
"Would you like to play a game to help you better understand what being God is like?"
"Sure.What do I have to do?"
"Roll the dice and I'll tell you"

I take a die in one hand and look at it. Its not the kind you'd find in a Vegas casino and certainly not something that a Hasbro box would spit at you. It looks like something that's been used for a long time and no one has ever bothered to really give it a rest. I give the dice a shake and throw them to the ground looking at God as I do. He looks at me and gives me a smile.

"Now you know what its like to be God"
"But I've done absolutely nothing"
"But you have; you have set in motion a set of events that will in-turn start another set of events and so on ..."
"What are you trying to tell me?"
"Its all in your head"
"So everything we do is a by-product of what we do ourselves?"
"Your time is running out I think its time to stop thinking and start enjoying bliss"
"Thanks"
"Your welcome"

I walk away from the tree with a renewed sense of belief in the end. Wonderful isn't it? Religion is waste when you finally come to your demise and if you've been working to get to heaven, it would really be a crying shame and moreover silly to believe that we are working to get into heaven.

Mood while writing this blog - Empty minded

Prince of Persia

When Ubisoft put the first remake of POP (Sands of Time) out, I was very excited. The game engine was worked over a 100% and the fight-mechanics left most experienced gamers with a sense of accomplishment after completing combos. I have since played every POP that Ubisoft has put out and for the most part, they have proved challenging. To my horror and shock, Ubisoft have finally ended up disappointing me with the new POP. The game mechanics have been tweaked and the introduction of Elika and the never-die concept, but the most crucial concept of engaging fights and smart bosses have been completely lost from the concept of a seasoned POP-Gamer. The worlds are breath-taking at times and the cell-shading offers a neat and well-packed experience visually. The control scheme is easy to follow and after the customary 20 min tutorial walkthrough, most gamers get the jist and are off on the adventure. The level bosses and the final boss don't really offer any level of difficult and I am pressed to say that this game shouldn't even be considered as a POP game at all. Even the original POP by Jordan Menchner offered a higher level of difficult compared to this POP. I have made a list of things that make this an absolute no purchaser for the experienced gamer.

Pros
===
- Elika's aid and making bigger jumps certainly add a very good level of difficulty to the platform component but it gets old very soon
- The conversations are in-game and controlled by the user. Cut-scenes are shorter and gameplay is extended
- Boss fights have save button combinations that make the fights longer but they are still very easy
- Gauntlet combinations for moving across walls (Probably one of the better dual weapon systems in Prince)

Cons
===
- You just can't die (Sorry Ubisoft but when you put something like this in a game it really ruins the longevity)
- Using Elika's magic to point the way to the next world. Someone is going to comment stating that you don't need to use it and I got so tired of it that I stopped after the second boss but it should be removed

With all this said, most of the other mechanics as said before were expected to be in a POP game but I still think it could have been better. Maybe this is a precursor to a new style of POP with aids? For new gamers this is a good experience and will certainly teach you the mechanics while smoothly blending in fights to keep you interested. For experienced gamers, play it while your stuck on games with a higher level of difficulty.

Overall Score - 6.5 / 10
Mechanics - 9/10
Visuals - 8/10 (Windwaker was the first cellshader that caught my attention)

Music listened to while writing this post - Rolling Stones - Brown Sugar

WinMo 7.0 - Microsoft Touching New Grounds

Out of sheer curiosity and a need to upgrade the operating system that runs on my Palm today, I went online to see what the next offering by Microsoft in the Mobile market looked like and I was a bit surprised when I came across what they have to offer. I will have to do more reading before I make another post but it looks like they are finally catching up in the touch environment.

http://microsoft.blognewschannel.com/archives/2008/01/06/exclusive-windows-mobile-7-to-focus-on-touch-and-motion-gestures/

The Pool - Return to Serenity

"Revenge is what people do when they can't walk away"

Day One
======

I hate black water. It makes my skin crawl and my face itch. What I hate more than black water is water that smells like rotting flesh mixed with what can only be described as stale chinese that has spent an eternity in a refridgerator. Time has passed for me and I now wield two katanas in my hand. My left hand has become stronger over time and I have come back here to enjoy the solitude that I once enjoyed in this quiet place. However, that solitude is quickly ruined by people bustling around and polluting the tranquility with their chatter and disrespect for silence. I stand still in the water hoping that they will go away after they are done with their 'business'. Sometimes it is just better to leave people where they belong -- out of my life and out of my mind. I slowly close my eyes and try to block out any noise and external movement. My muscles slowly reach a state of relaxation as the two blades I hold in my hand slowly move around in the black water that I had left.

Day 113
======

I open my eyes after I am rudely bought out of my meditative state by an even louder sound of people fighting and causing a ruckus. I watch as some of them have started decaying and don't look like their former selves anymore. One of them looks at me and I can see the lifelessness in his eyes. An empty casing watching me as if I don't belong in the very place I have taken care of for a long time now. His face is rotting and his right arm's skin has become extremely pale, revealing the bone under it. I look at him with a sense of pity as he is fighting with another gentleman who is undergoing the same metamorphosis. I close my eyes once again in the hopes that this will stop.

Day 211
======

It's become quiet and I feel a cold breeze that brings me back to reality as I open my eyes and look around the pool. It's cold and the wind runs a chill down my spine as I see everyone standing around the pool looking at me with what can only be described as anger. Some of them have lost most of their facial skin and have teeth that are more browner than the Nescafe that I am used to in the mornings. One of them opens its mouth and starts to say something that I can't decipher. I assume it is talking in English and I really can't make out what it is saying. I attribute this to the fact that I have been in stasis for so long that my auditory senses are not working at their optimum best but that is quickly forgotten as one of them jumps in the pool and starts to make its way towards me.

My reaction, the only one really, is to tighten my grip on both katanas and wait for the intentions of the creature to be shown. It wades through the water and comes closer. I can smell the stink of hate, disgust and every other negative human emotion as it reaches closer. I still ponder about what its going to do and then it happens. A raise arm reveals fingernails and the look in its eye has changed to one of hatred as it tries to swing its hand towards me. I move to the side and swing my right hand towards its head. The next sound I hear is the splash of water as its head makes it way into the pool. A sense of regret now comes over me as I never intended to destroy the sacrilidge of this place but I know what needs to be done. 

I start to make my way out of the pool as the others watch me with lots of interest. They are now in a state of wonder as I start to get out of the pool. I begin to walk away with the intention of simply leaving the place when a lady comes forth from the crowd and says 'You are no better than the rest of us. If you had just conformed to the way things are now your life would be easier'. I stop walking. My mind starts to race again and remember a time when the pool was clear, the sky was blue and the sound of silence soothed me. I look at my hands and see the blood stains slowly drying up due to the cold weather. I look at the way out and then back at the crowd. I know now what must be done.

I walk towards the lady and look her in the eyes. Any humanity had left her body a long time ago and all I was looking at now was a shell of the actual person she used to be. I quickly dispatch her with the blade in my left hand and look at the others. My eyes no longer show compassion or any state of calm. I start running towards them dispatching them one by one. My anger fuels any lack of strength and leaves me energized for the next kill. Slowly and steadily I begin to kill them all. I tell myself 'It is the only way'

Day 313
======

It is now quiet again and I am tired. I look at all the dead bodies and wonder what I am going to do with them. My gut instinct tells me to leave but they look out of place next to the pool. I start dragging them and place each of them in the pool. The stink that earlier repulsed me has now become rather pleasant as I start stashing them one over the other in the pool.

Day 317
======

It's all done now and the water has started flowing out of the pool. I smile to myself as the serenity of the place I visited very often has now been restored. As a final act, I lock the gates and get back in the pool. Body parts cramp me a little bit but that has never bothered me. It will be night soon and when I open my eyes again all of this will be gone ...

Music Listened to while writing this blog - None
Mood - Catalytic

Google Chrome - The Browser To Save Us All?

In a WWW world run rampant by Internet Explorer and Firefox users(Sorry Opera and Safari), Google has decided to make its entry into the fray with the introduction of a new browser based on some common concepts taken from everyday users that they probably talked to. The most salient features of this browser are mentioned on the website.

www.google.com/chrome

However, I would like to talk about my experience with this browser and to be fair and honest I have to really talk about the current dominant browsers versus this browser so here goes.

Screen Space saving with a smaller address location bar and larger browsing space
==========================================================
Now, lets be honest, this is achievable on both Firefox and IE with full screen mode and some extensions/themes in Firefox even allow minimalistic space usage for the end-user. Wonder what made Google claim this. Oh wait it only take 15 MB to run. I'll get back to that in a minute.

Incognito mode
===========
Safe browsing has become a huge concern with all web-browser developers and even companies like Apple have integrated this into their browsers to move into the new generation. 15 MB once again duh how could we forget.

Better integration with Google Apps
=========================
Oh no, now they really have us. But wait most other browsers work pretty well with Google web-apps. Is there something we are missing here? Maybe a more seamless and better performance out of the applications integrated into the browser will be seen. I give Google a cookie here they might actually have something.

Inspect Element Window
==================
This window is truly a useful concept introduced by the browser and I will say that this scores Google brownie points in the web-development department. It gives load times and resources used along with the underlying HTML code to the end-user for performance rating and debugging. Very useful and yes I know that FF does offer something similar but its a bit different here and represented with time graphs which I know FF offers as well but not with such a low memory usage.

Tabs above the search bar
===================
I will say that this is neat but I do not think this is going to sway the minds of other web-browser users. Strange I know but this was one of the features mentioned on the website. From a UX (User Experience) POV, I am more concerned about whats on the page rather than where the tab sits. I remember seeing a browser extension that let tabs sit below the page (less intrusive if you ask me).

That's all I can really talk about for now till I start running more heavier stuff on it. Apparently, the Java is supposed to kick the nuts out of most other browsers but with the issues that Facebook presented today, I hope that Google transitions out of the Beta phase faster than Google Talk ever did lol (oops its still there). As for the memory issue, its a little ridiculous to imagine this being a browser for the common man throwing away IE and FF, there are just too many websites out there that depend on MS Technology (ASPX) to make users run to GC and FF well there is a reason why its considered a faster browser than IE and it certainly ran GC into the ground today when I tested it on a simple website for load times both locally and on the server. Another reason for no memory woes is that todays rigs come with 1GB or 2GB standard, sure it makes loads of sense when you are just checking your email or doing some simple browsing but with more websites using more stringent features, I think that 15MB for crash purposes and browser control makes no sense.

I won't say that GC is a bad browser but for a power user, it offers absolutely nothing that the other two browsers already give you neatly packaged. I would like to see Google add more extensions/apps and maybe tweak it some more to bring it out of the Beta phase into a much better competitive mode. I think they can afford to bump up the memory usage to 50MB and still get away with being more lightweight than FF/Opera/Safari but they need to think about the moving markets.

Good job Google is all I can say but you have a little ground to cover before you catch up with IE and start showing some real competitive edging where its truly required at this point in time. I'd like to see a new browser with more and better features if it can be made and it seems the boys at MS and Mozilla are seriously running out of steam for new ides. IE will only survive with its new active page slicing and other silly security tricks, FF has a slight advantage with the open source developer market and some really nifty extensions that are saving it over IE. Nevertheless, the fight has now begun and I hope we get a good browser out of it.

Oh, FF is still my favorite browser (listing table)

Browsers in fashion of overall performance (2GB/AMD Chipset)
=============================================

1. Firefox 3
2. Firefox 2
3. Safari
4. Internet Explorer 6
   
5. Internet Explorer 7
   
6. Opera
7. Google Chrome
8. Internet Explorer 8

Fastest Speeds Experienced During Browsing
================================

1. Firefox 2
2. Safari
3. Firefox 3
4. Google Chrome
5. Internet Explorer 6
6. Internet Explorer 7
7. Opera
8. Internet Explorer 8

Most lightweight Browser (Heavy Java/AJAX Browsing)
==================

1. Google Chrome
2. Internet Explorer 6
3. Firefox 2
4. Internet Explorer 7
5. Internet Explorer 8
6. Safari
7. Firefox 3
   
8. Opera

Most Customizable Browser
====================

1. Firefox 2
2. Firefox 3
3. Opera
4. Internet Explorer 8
5. Internet Explorer 7
   

Safest Browser
===========

1. Firefox 3
2. Safari (Well nothing really affects it)
3. Firefox 2
   
4. Opera
5. Internet Explorer 8
6. Internet Explorer 7
7. Google Chrome
8. Internet Explorer 6 (oh god the popups)

Most friendly to Power-Users
=====================

1. Firefox 2
2. Firefox 3
3. Opera (Widget Engine is simply awesome shame its a memory hog)
4. Internet Explorer 8
5. Internet Explorer 6
6. Internet Explorer 7
7. Safari
8. Google Chrome
   

Music Listened to while writing this post - From Here to Eternity - Iron Maiden
Mood - Bit Sick But Nothing A Shot of Whiskey Won't Fix

Tell Me Your Problems

When people say that talking relieves the pain that one experiences by keeping whats troubling them inside, I chuckle a bit inside. Some people might think I am full of myself or a bit loony but that has never bothered me. Telling people everything that goes on in your mind, troubling or otherwise, is a bit unsafe in my opinion. Speaking whatever is on your mind is an equally dangerous tool but that is something I choose not to discuss in this blog post. The beauty of human concern is double-edged. On one hand you have people that need to hear other people's problems to feel like the world is turning and on the other hand you have people who suffer from the strange urge to just please and be in the good books of everyone that is a nerve-center in their lives. Whatever you like to label your concern as love, friendship, professional, etc. we ultimately fall into one of these categories because that is how we are by nature. The genuine feeling of concern has long left us and is probably practiced by two starving kids in Somalia who will only fight when a piece of bread becomes the difference in survival or death between them. When someone says that talking to God fixes problems too then I ask them whether it is talking to God or their belief in themselves that things will get better soon that makes the difference there (confusing line and I have written it so).
It's only sad that the world wants to fix all the problems around us instead of actually doing something better for humanity, we spend our lives trying to fix the ones we love or make them better but the reality is that we can't really operate in our own realm because we would feel totally useless unless we had someone we could call our 'pet project'. Maybe its my own dirty perception or my experiences that have made me this way but even if they have I choose not to change my perception till I see things differently.

Music Listened to while writing this blog - Mad World - Gary Jules
Mood - Indifferent

Medicine in 2008

I can say with absolute assurance that modern medicine has never really let me down when its come to dispatching a cure for anything ranging from a common cold to a viral fever. However, where modern medicine succeeds, the practitioners have failed. What do I mean by this? Well a few weeks back I went to a doctor in Mysore to talk to him about a problem I have had ever since I was a little child, my sinus (sometimes I wish this word had a more evil tone to it).

I happily poured out any information that was asked of me and with absolute trust in the good doctor I even said that I would take the medication and left his office that day. What happened after that is a lesson in both humility and my ever dying concept of trust. I learned a long time ago that keeping your mouth shut was probably the best way to never deal with your problems no matter how big. Simply shut your mouth and breathe in a few times, that seems to solve the problem. But why have we side-tracked from the story? Let's jump right back.

My girlfriend and me were talking sometime after the weekend visit to Dr. Quack and she told me that he went and told her parents about my medical condition and what he thought the problem was. Now, ordinarily I would not be bothered by something so trite but what really did bother me was that he was worried but he didn't want to tell me. It's not like my life was in any danger or that I was so ill that I would stop breathing one day. I pondered over it and the only answer I could come up with was that Dr. Quack is actually a business man. He cannot propagate his business unless his product is very good and the market is very client-rich or he spreads fear and gets his clients that way. Either way actually makes my stomach churn because modern medicine and Dr. Quack are like oil and water. There have been cases of lawsuits for people breaking the doctor-client privilege (Yes, I know I am in India).

So, what's the answer to my confusion?

- Dr. Quack no longer has access to me or can offer me any medical advice
- I do not take medical advice from anyone except a doctor
- Should I choose to expire due to lack of trust I do not blame anyone else except myself because modern medicine didn't fail me the stupid doctors that practice it did
- I have since flushed all the medication given to me by that Quack down the toilet
- I will continually lie about my health to everyone close to me because lets be honest, they don't need to worry about my health and I don't want them to lose sleep over it either

Please remember that this quack is one in a million and there are doctors out there doing things for humanity that I can only hope to do in my entire lifetime. People who have given up the customary luxuries afforded by this profession to be bigger than what they set out to be and save us from diseases and make the world a better place. I would mention the good doctor's name but that is a pointless venture and leads to nothing but ill-will which I do not want to spread.

Trust in Modern Medicine. It's even more powerful than Modern Religion (WOOT!!!)

Mood while writing this blog post - Angry
Music listened to while writing this post - Metallica - Hollier than Thou

iMonkey 2.0.1

Last night, I went ahead and updated my iPod Touch (iMonkey) to the new firmware that Apple has out there. To my surprise and perhaps a little bit of excitement, things are actually responding a bit faster. The keyboard is not as laggy as it was in Safari with the old 1.X and even 2.0 and the Main Page does move a bit more smoothly. However, with all this said, I have not yet had time to even read about what kinds of 'bug-fixes' Apple has bundled specifically for the iPod Touch considering that the firmware upgrade was originally poised for the iPhone (If you own an iPhone I would suggest holding off on this update it causes quite a ruckuss with Jailbroken iPod and lord forbid if your on Vodafone).

I just wish that Apple was a bit more clearer on the bug-fixes and had a separate list of updates for the iPhone and the iPod Touch considering that the upgrades don't work the same way on both devices and I would like to know what I am getting rather than rely on someone else telling me or me finding out by myself.

Music while writing this post - EBTG - Missing
Mood - Not too good

Apple iPod/iPhone Update 2.0.1

Today, Apple decided to launch a new iPod update 2.0.1 and to be honest I am actually downloading it as I write this blog. The buzz around the forums for iPod is that the firmware upgrade actually made the keyboard better and did speed up the backup facility on the iPod (Nice). However, some people have complained that it ate their applications ( I haven't jail-broken my iPod yet so I really can't comment here). 

All in all a few things I would like to know that Apple likes to do

- Why do they release their updates on Tuesdays? To beat the Monday rush? Hehe

- Why the F do they always put the entire firmware upgrade in a single 250 MB file. Ever heard of partial downloads and upgrades? Must be some kind of security/backup +restore thing.

- Why doesn't the damn thing allow me to update my iPod via the iPod itself. I mean if I am roaming around on Wireless and find the update through the App Store I should be able to just update the damn thing that way.

- Why doesn't Apple have an iPod Kiosk at stores where users can jack their iPods in for a price (if you haven't purchased an update) and just update it there. Seems like a nice feature to give customers that are doing valid updates and not the kind that go from jail-broken iPods to updated machines

- Why doesn't Apple put some Flash in the Mobile version of Safari. I think its long due but then again it might just be me. I feel the doors to interactive usage of the touch screen/accelm will get much much better and people can start writing webapps to take advantage of this (oops did i leak out the reason why they haven't done it already? hehe)

All said and done, I will be getting this update because I am the kind of guy who puts faith in the company I purchase my products from and like to be able to walk into any Apple store if I have a problem and say 'look here my device does not work and I'd like you to fix it' rather than run back home restore my iDevice and come back asking them to fix it.

I hope the boys at Apple did some magic this time because so far I have been impressed lets see what the new update brings

iPod device that was lying around silently awaiting its new upgrade - iMonkey

Music listened to while writing this blog - Nothing

Website for iPod referencing - www.apple.com/ipodtouch/