Snap

"I lose my patience to get it back again' - Me

Sometimes, I am challenged by my environment to be someone I am not. Most times, I just give in and let it get the better of me. When I do this however, a little residue of regret is left behind but it is nothing significant. The story your about to read is purely fictional but if it were true, the amount of gratification would be totally worthwhile.

I loved my wife and I loved the life we had built together. Sadly, what has happened now is a clear indication of my own failure as a husband to let things out when I should have. About four hours ago, everyone was seated at a table eating dinner and enjoying a quite healthy conversation. There was laughter and smiles all around the table. It was then that something rather extraordinary happened ...

Four Hours Ago

"I think we should play a game" - My Wife
"I think that's a good idea" - Her Friend

And so, starts another boring game of Truth or Dare and of course the worst demon of them all - I have never. While the game continues, I slowly watch as the proceedings turn into a Q&A session for all the men sitting around the table. Everyone has a demon in their closet and no matter how much we choose to hide it, these are places where we might let it all slip and end up being ostracized for our very beliefs or acts of stupidity we want to forget. As is customary at these events, I choose to be forthcoming in my answers and provide answers to all the questions asked of me. I know there will be questions after we are done but I still play because saying no is just as bad as saying yes.

"I have never ever had sex in a car" is one of the questions put forward and I say with comforting ease that this is something that I have done. It is at that moment that my wife's eyes start to become wider and her face is going a solid red now. It isn't the red that one associates with the pleasantness of autumn or the glowing red of a nice cherry jelly. This is the kind of red u see when the lights of an ambulance are shining in your face. She gets up and leaves the table in a fuss. I follow suite in the usual dog-on-a-leash fashion I have become accustomed to all these years.

"Whats wrong now?" - Me
"Nothing, who was she?" - My Wife
"Who was who?" - Me
"The woman in the car" - My Wife
"No one important. Infact, I don't want to talk about it and I'd rather we forget it" - Me
"Why?" - My Wife
"Because its my past and I'd like to leave it where it belongs. In my past" - Me
"Whatever" - My Wife

She walks past me and goes out in the living room. I now find myself wondering what went wrong. In a quiet motion, I walk past the living room into the kitchen and let myself out the back door. Our dog, mostly hers, is now running around in the yard and has created a mess again. Alas, he's a puppy and cannot really be blamed. Or can he? I walk towards him and give him a stare like he's done something wrong but all I am greeted with is the same stupid look that he always gives me when he does something wrong. It is in that moment that I see everything wrong in my life within the dog. I watch as he moves around and starts destroying the yard that I had spent three summers trimming and watering. I watch as he unearths the mud that I have spent so much time caring for and as he starts to move all the grass and plants around. I figure its time for a reprimand but that isn't all, I catch him by his collar and give him a shouting. I guess that I caught it a little too hard because he is unable to breathe now. I stand there in the night as my dog quietly starts to choke in my hands. I watch as his eyes start going red and he tries to struggle against my hand which has gone numb for me. In that instant, I grab his neck with my other arm and press it as hard as I can. He's just a puppy and his struggling doesn't last long. There is a calming silence in the garden once again.

I move his body into the kennel and make my way back into the house. They are still playing that stupid game. I walk into my study and take a look at the shotgun that a business partner had given me as a congratulatory gift. In that instant, I picture them all lifeless and 'quiet'. I start to load the gun when there is a knock on my study. I slowly open the door to find one of her friends asking if I am doing alright. I say that I am fine it will just be a few more minutes and I will join them downstairs.

There are only three people and I have four shells in my casing. It doesn't take long to dispatch them. Apparently they screamed for their lives but all I could see was their faces and the smile that was becoming more apparent on mine as I pulled the trigger and reloaded the shotgun. My wife was scared too but that didn't stop me.

Present

Its quiet again and my living room has three dead bodies in it. I light a cigarette as I look at the mess. Someone is going to call the police after hearing the shells go off. Should I kill myself or start running? Neither really seems appealing at this stage. I sit in my living room as the sound of sirens start to make themselves more clearer. I am finally smiling like I mean it ...

Note: I am not psychotic in the least sense of the word. What is written here is all fictional and should be treated as such.

Mood while writing this blog - Half Awake and Hungry
Music - Mad World - Gary Jules